Slytherin
by Li'l Lawliet
Summary: This is too weird. I'm placed in the supposed devil house, and I have to deal with a new power I just learned existed! And what's with this new teacher? Pranks, love confessions, and ALIENS? Who knew magic was fake! ..Crossover with Doctor Who..
1. Morning

'Ah, this was nice… Waking up my first morning in Slytherin, the sun shining in streaks through the windows, casting a warm glow across my comforter, and… Wait. Slytherin? _Slytherin? _I didn't _think _I was evil! Well, this has _got _to be another sugar-induced haze.'

I sat up cautiously, feeling around me to realize that, no, everything was quite real.

"Wow," I whispered.

A girl next to me groaned and rolled onto her side, her eyes squeezed shut. I giggled at the drastic difference between her pale skin and the black robe she'd thrown over the comforter in the middle of the night to keep her warm.

What was her name again? Did I even know her?

I shrugged and leaned over, still half-way in bed, to gently nudge her awake.

Her eyes flashed open and she shot up straight in bed with a nasty-looking expression on her face. She turned to glare daggers at me. The corners of her thin lips curled up into an evil grin.

I swallowed.

In a flash, she had jumped onto my bed and picked up her pillow and mine, both now positioned to swing down and whack me in the face. She stared. She frowned. And suddenly, she was laughing hysterically at my terrified expression. She plopped down on the end of my bed, sitting cross-legged and sending a ripple through the thin mattress. She tossed me the pillow.

"Hey, newbie. How's the first day goin' for ya?" she asked cheerfully.

"Um..." I began, still staring at her in disbelief.

"Oh, that bad is it?" she inquired, leaning over and poking my ribs.

"Not - ow! - Not really. I just woke up, right?"

"Oh, yeah," she said merrily, "it'll be that bad by the end of the day. Did ya hear? New defense against the dark arts teacher! Sounds like a real nut if ya ask me - he's all my parents talk about these days. Say he just got outta Azkaban - doesn't sound like a great resume, right? But that's just a rumor 'been spread around." she laughed loudly, annoying some of our room-mates awake.

"Geez, Nickie!" a blonde girl yelled across the room, twisting her face around to glare at us, "I just got to sleep maybe" - she glanced at the clock - "three hours ago! So could ya knock it off, some of us actually _want _to pass this year!"

The hall was filled with mumbles of agreement.

I glanced around. All of these girls seemed to know each other, even though a bunch of them were clearly first-years, like me.

The girl on my bed - who I guessed was Nickie - laughed and jumped over to the blonde's cot, talking about some show I didn't watch and getting assaulted by the pillows of other laughing room-mates.

"Aw, c'mon, Neko-chan!" Nickie whined, baring a grin and poking the blonde.

"Stop _calling _me that!" barked the girl, who buried her face into her pillow. Nickie grinned and launched herself off of the bed, tackling a third-year and falling to the ground in hysterics.

I sat silently, watching the Nickie-induced chaos around me, and occasionally catching a flying feather from a burst pillow.

I fell back onto my bed and pulled my comforter up over my head, hoping I was dreaming not only the green and silver banners that hung around the room, but the whole mistake of coming to this weird, weird, _weird _school instead of staying at St. Peters'.

My wishing was cut short by another ripple flying through my mattress, and I peeked up over the sheets to see if Nickie had come back to torture my brain. I instead saw another blonde girl, this one with slightly paler hair and pinkish purple streaks, crouching at the foot of my bed as if ready to attack.

"Hi!' she said cheerfully, turning her head towards me for a brief second before jumping on a redhead with a cry that mixed screams and laughter.

Weird.

I stepped slowly through the stone halls, feeling uncomfortable in my heavy black cloak during the heavier August humidity.

I nervously loosened my silver and green tie, and slipped my arms out of the cloak, until I was only feeling burnt, not broiling.

"Howdy!" exclaimed a voice that made me jump. I spun around quickly to glare at Nickie and the blonde with purple streaks. I gasped loudly.

"Don't! Do. _That._" I snarled angrily, catching my breath. I hate getting scared so easily.

The girl with purple streaks tilted her head and pouted. "Well that's not very nice," she said with mock-sadness. "We were only trying to say hi." She giggled and shoved her hands into her pockets. "Here ya go!" she said, cheerful again, "We like to give all the newbies a li'l something before the teachers ruin their lives, you silly munster!"

As I was waiting for her to finish ruffling my already messed-up hair, I examined the object she'd shoved in my hands.

"What the heck is this?" I asked, gesturing to the box.

"Gah! That's just the package, ya gotta look inside," Nickie said, not looking at me but over my shoulder, "Psst, Nickie," the other girl said, "What're you looking at?"

"Hmm..." Nickie said. A grin was slowly forming on her face, "Diane, look. Gryffindors!"

"Ooh! Let's go torment them!"

I looked at them. "Are you sure you should do that?"

The girl who was named Diane nodded very quickly with a grin on her face. "They know we're just joking! Right, ya Gryffindor mudbloods?!" she called over my shoulder. I glanced behind me to see several kids with red and gold scarves run off crying.


	2. Dominique

"So then he was like 'ah, my wand, what the heck!'"

Over the loud clatter and bustle of the lunch hall, I heard Nickie's blaring voice quote a Gryffindor they'd earlier taunted. I heard also rather loud giggles and hysterical laughter from around her, and when I glanced over, she was acting out a scene from earlier with Diane. I shook my head angrily and tore a wing off of a chicken in front of me. At my old school, we'd have to get up to get our lunch. I was still having a lot of trouble adjusting to this school. After only one day here, however, I had learned that you do NOT, under any circumstance, take a dare to poke the Womping Willow. I shuddered, remembering not two hours earlier. I looked around myself. There seemed to be a social bubble here already, and my arrival seemed to have popped it. There was literally a bubble around me - if you had a photo of it from the roof, you'd see that the was a circle around me, keeping at least a meter away from me. I sighed and scooted over one half meter to my left. No one moved. Good, that meant at least my smell wasn't driving them away. I scooted the other half, and still no one moved. Victory! I pulled my lunch tray over with me, and listened intently to the conversation of the three girls I'd scooted next to.

"Have you had Defense Against the Dark Arts yet?" asked a redhead I'd seen earlier in the dorm room, "The teacher's great. Little off the ball, but he's funny! Say's there isn't a thing as magic, that we're being tricked!"

"Guy's a loony if you asked me," said the blonde Nickie called Neko-chan, "Cute, yeah, but still totally nuts." The way the girl held herself seemed stuck-up to me. She was in a proud position. She closed her eyes when she talked, as if she was only doing it to hear the sound of her own voice.

"Nobody asked you, and guy's a genius!" argued an african american girl with frizzy black hair,"Explained a lot to me! haven't you ever wondered how magic actually works? What about all that defying the laws of conservation of matter and stuff? How do we make stuff FLOAT? Magic's an idiot concept if ya ask me, too fake to be real. That new teacher's got the best mind I've ever seen in this asylum school!"

"I-" I started, but quickly stopped, thinking I'd be intruding myself upon the argument. All three sets of eyes were suddenly on me.

"Well?" said the platinum blonde, "What were you going to spit?"

"I, um-"

"C'mon, Kaitlin, let the first-year talk!" laughed the girl with frizzy hair.

"Dominique!" said the redhead, touching the girl's arm, "you KNOW you can't win against Kaitie! Girl's an arguing machine!"

"I-" I said again, "I, um, well, I haven't had Defense Against the Dark Arts yet, but, I um, I kind of agree with, um," I struggled to remember her name, though it had just been said, "Dominique. Magic's always seemed so… artificial to me!"

"Well," said Dominique, "I haven't had Defense yet either, y'know! I talked to him in the halls, and he seemed really smart to me. I've heard that people saying that he said magic isn't real. Explains a lot, if it's just hidden science. What was your name again?"

"Oh! My name! Um, Abigail, nice to meet you!" I stuttered, bowing my head.

"Okay, then, Abigail, are you a first-year as I presume?" she said, drawing out the words in a funny fake accent.

"Y-yes," I said.

"Yay, me too!" she cheered and hugged me from across the table, "Ooh, check your schedule!" she said, tearing her own from a red bag.

I checked it, like she said.

"Okay, Abby, what period do you have Defense in?" she asked cheerfully, leaning over the table.

"Um, six," I answered. I looked up and saw her glance down at her own schedule. She cheered loudly.

"Me too, this is great!!!" she sang, "Ooh, that's the class after next!"

"What's next?"

She grinned. "Potions."


	3. Potions, Defense, and Professor Smith

"Gah!" I accidentally knocked a vial of hot pink liquid off the table and into our bubbling green pot.

"Oh no!" shrieked my partner, shielding himself from the explosion that came from our cauldron. He turned to me and pouted. "Abigail!"

"Sorry!" I said quickly, searching our table for something to fix it with.

"You're such a klutz!" he exclaimed, joining my search and throwing aside random quills and papers. "Here." he said, thrusting out his hand with a vial of a grayish elixir, "This should fix it."

"Thanks," I mumbled, snatching the vial from him and dumping it into the cauldron's liquid, which immediately returned to normal. I curiously glanced up at my parter, who was flipping through our heavy text book. His pale blonde hair hung loosely around his face. I wondered how he ended up in Hufflepuff, because he kept complaining about how his dad was going to kill him when he found out.

"Hey Scorpio?" I asked.

"Yeah?" he responded quickly after I tapped his shoulder, snapping out of the book.

"Why's your dad going to kill you?"

"What? Oh, that. He's not actually going to _kill _me, he'll just be upset."

"Why?"

"He really wanted me to be in Slytherin," he mumbled, picking the book back up and returning to its history of the potion we were making.

"Oh. Okay then…"

"Hmph. You're lucky you got in the house your parents wanted you in."

"Nah… My parents wanted me in Ravenclaw. Y'know, house of smart people."

"Ah, I see," he said, not looking up from the book.

"Well, wouldn't you want to get in there? I mean, who wants to be told they're not smart?"

"Me."

"What? Why?"

"'Ignorance is bliss,' that's a famous quote, isn't it?" he said with his eyes closed, snapping the book shut and placing it on the desk, "If all it takes to be happy is stupidity, I'd welcome being brain-dead with open arms."

I stared at him. Did he really _want _to be dumb?

"In any case," he interrupted my thoughts, "I'm _not_ stupid, so what good will wishing do? Let's finish our potion." he said with a sudden happy grin. "You've got weird hair." he said, tilting his head to the side and frowning.

"What? What's wrong with my hair?" I asked. I reached up and twirled my red hair around my finger.

"I dunno. It's just weird." He turned back to the cauldron, dropping in random ingredients. "Oh. Damn!" he cursed just before the cauldron blew up, engulfing the entire room in flames.

"Mister Malfoy…" snarled the teacher, "Detention!"

-S-T-U-P-I-D-L-I-N-E-D-O-E-S-N-T-S-H-O-W-U-P-

"So!" said the Defense teacher, grinning, "Defense Against the Dark Arts, eh? Dark arts, I think is the most important part of that statement, but now we have the question of what exactly dark arts _are_. Well, dark arts are magic of course, but that brings up another question; what is magic? Now, if you ask me," he said, snatching a wand from a student in the front row, "_Magic_ is just hidden science. And," he continued, snapping the student's wand and ignoring our gasps, "If magic is just hidden science, aren't dark arts just science that's hidden _better_? You, come up here," he gestured to the student whose wand he had broken. The student scrambled up, shaken by her lost wand.

"What do you see there?" the teacher asked the girl, holding out her wand.

"Th-that's wood," the girl responded in a shaky voice.

"Ah, but that's just from a distance, c'mon, look closer!"

"I-I still just see wood…" she said, trailing off.

"So! If this '_magic_' is just hidden science, it's hidden pretty well, eh? Thank you, Jenny, you can take your seat now. I'll fix your wand later," he said to the girl, who stumbled back into her seat.

Somewhere ahead of me in the crowd, a hand waved furiously in the air.

"Yes, Rose?" said the teacher, looking slightly sad at the name.

"Professor Smith, if magic is just hidden science, why are there magical creatures such as unicorns and giants?"

He grinned and said, "Ah, good question! And you know what? I'm not going to try to tell you that! You can't believe everything a teacher tells you; you have to make your own theories! Ms. Weasly, five points to Ravenclaw for the question, and the idea for homework."

Everyone groaned.

"Now, don't be like that!" he said, still smiling, "This'll be fun! I want you to find one 'magical creature,' write an observation of it, and tell me why you think it's magical. And please, no answers that say 'it's magical because it can perform magic.' I really hate those."

"Professor Smith!" called out Rose, waving her hand madly in the air.

"Yes?" he asked, turning towards her with a smile.

"What significance does this show to Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

"What significance? I'm teaching you how to defend yourself. Isn't that what Defense is about?"

"If I may ask, how will _this _help us defend ourselves?" she asked.

"Well, you may ask and already have, but I'm not going to answer you at this time. Everyone, do your homework!" he shouted over the bell that began to ring.

"Well," said Dominique, running up to my side, "That was interesting, huh? Smart guy, right? Little off though. What do you think?"

"He was okay. I wonder why he broke that girl's wand though."

"I think he was just trying to show us how well the science is hidden," she said quickly. I could tell she was pretty much agreeing with everything he said or was going to say.

"You're awfully open-minded," I said.

"Yup! I like to embrace every new idea, especially if they have a point! I'm not saying I _believe _in every new idea I hear, I'm just going to give it a fair chance! I think everyone should be like that,"

"That's nice."

"Hey!" called a voice from behind us. I turned around to see the Ravenclaw girl, Rose, approaching us. "Is this yours?" she asked, holding out something that looked like a metal wand.

"No," I answered.

"Not mine," said Dominique happily.

"Oh. Okay, thanks! Just looking for its owner!" she said sheepishly, running past us and asking a couple of Gryffindors ahead of us.

"So, really," Dominique continued, "You don't believe Professor Smith? Guy's a genius."

"You classify genius too easily," I muttered, turning around and heading for Slytherin house.


	4. Muffins

**Before I begin, I want to thank my wonderful reviewer, Rain the Revenant! Your review was the long and thoughtfully written kind that I always love responding to--unfortunately, you left me an anonymous review, so I couldn't. -Pout- But thank you!! Yes, Rose is the spawn of the Ron and Hermione, so glad you asked! Everyone who's related to the original cast of Harry Potter is taken from the epilogue of the seventh book! Oh yeah, and… In the second chapter, me being the stupid American that I am, I accidentally called Dominique 'african american.' Ha ha… So, since I'm too lazy to go back and change it, Dominique will remain American, and instead be a transfer student… Thing… How come they don't teach math at Hogwarts, huh?! HOW ARE THOSE KIDS S'POSED TO KNOW THEIR ALGEBRA?! …And now, without further adieu, I present to you the fourth chapter of **_**Slytherin**_**!**

I muttered something and flopped over beneath my sheets. My shaggy red hair was thrown across the pillow, already tangled from the restless night turning in my bed. Three in the morning on my second night in Hogwarts. Three in the morning and I hadn't gotten to sleep.

_God,_ I thought, _If you have any consideration for my grades, please let me go to sleep. Maybe even a dream? That'd be nice. No nightmares, please…_

And I guess God was listening, because after that, a tired fog fell over me, and eventually, I got to sleep.

-I-N-T-H-E-S-L-E-E-P-Y-M-O-R-N-I-N-G-

Rain. Rain was usually a beautiful, calming thing, with a floral aroma when it was warm and sultry. Today, the rain chilled the air, and gave off a dead gray that echoed through the whole school's marble walls. The raindrops seemed more like foreboding ice, and instead of the heavy throbbing that a rainy day should have, it came with random cracking sounds when the cold drops hit the pavement.

It occurred to me that I wasn't the only one thinking this. The whole school seemed depressed by this sudden shift in weather. The beautiful, warm, blue rain from the summer was gone, and soon it would be autumn.

_Not even a nice red and orange autumn_, I inwardly growled, _An ugly brown one, where all of the leaves are wet and stick to your shoes._

I turned to glance at Dominique. It seemed the heavy atmosphere was even affecting her. She suddenly scowled, and because I couldn't tell if it was from the rain, or something else, I turned to look ahead of us. Kaitlin and Diane were picking on a boy with messy black hair. Dominique's brow furrowed, and she picked up speed to near them.

"Hey," she said in a commanding tone, grabbing Diane's shoulder, "Stop."

Diane stared at her for a moment before smiling and replying, "Hey, Dee. What's up?"

"I told you to stop." Dominique's expression stayed stiff.

"They know we're kidding--"

"And what if they _don't _know, eh? You're giving us a bad name."

"…"

Kaitlin glared at her, before turning to the boy they were laughing at earlier.

"Sorry," Kaitlin scoffed, and power-walked away, with Diane following her.

I watched in half-confusion. Was this why everyone said our house was bad? Mean?

Dominique's face had softened, and she turned to the Gryffindor boy, who was shorter than her, but probably about our age.

"You okay?" she asked with a smile.

The boy frowned, his green eyes sparkling with defiance. "I don't need help."

He turned on his heel and paced away.

"…What the _hell_!" she squeaked. "Oh! You know what I could go for?" She turned back to face me, her expression returning to normal despite the freezing rain, "Blueberry muffins! I bet breakfast is still open, do you wanna go back and get some more?"

I smiled at my friend. "Sure."

**Oooooooh… Totally pointless filler chapter! …Or WAS it? By the way, not all Gryffindors are jerks… Just this one. You know who he is. I'd like to once again thank my reviewer for being so totally awesome! Review!**


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